Eclipse Phase: Operation Firewall
W-28 Logs "I Remembered What Hate Is"
Written a day after operation Catching Nemo, retrieved from W-28’s personal logs
RANT: I had forgotten what it feels to hate. I have lately been using the statement “I hate X” in large amounts, but it was not true hate. It was, at best, mild irritation. Dr. Algernop being a creep, Ferrata being an asshole, these things have prompted me to bring out the words “I Hate You”. But it had none of the fire I once felt towards the Jovian bastards, or the fire I felt towards the TITANs as they destroyed everything around me. Someone, somewhere fucked up when he installed HATE.EXE as a sub-program in me, but I am glad for that.
I have two targets for my hate now. Myself for going along with the plan that costed the lives of who knows how many, their stacks taken to the depths of Ceres. But more importantly, I feel HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. towards the group who forced us to do it. The Hidden Concern.
They mocked me for the ‘humanlike’ hate. Thought I was surprisingly human. I do not believe they calculated my mentality correctly – I am an AGI, an emergent one at that. Nobody ever installed in me anything other than very rudimentary social protocols, but they mimic human behaviour. For some reason some crazy asshole decided that the robot dog felt the need to feel hate as well. And guilt. Sorrow. Loyalty. …Well that last one at least makes sense. Back to hate: ‘hate’ is a human emotion, true. But it is rare for them to be focused on it for long. Humans do not have a part of their mind literally dedicted to HATE. They do not have several terabits of power focused on nothing but HATE in themselves.
I remember the day I blew up that space ship. I had felt such hate for so long against the Jovians, for crimes against Uplifts and AGIs of all kinds. That explosion, in retrospect, marked the end of my true hatred. I still did a couple of smaller strikes in cooperation with the Blue Roses, but the fire was not in it anymore. Then, one day, I was hired by some obvious Fake ID to do a covert mission to assassinate someone. While I did not know it yet, Firewall was assessing me, looking at what I would do during the mission. I was tired of the killing as well – the mission briefing stated that my employer did not care about civilian casualties. I attempted to minimize them, and in the end, the only one who died was the target, whose stack I retrieved as requested.
The Firewall proxy was relatively impressed, but did not induct me right away, using me to conduct a few more missions, before deciding that I was an asset, not some crazy lunatic AGI that might need to be taken out. I was inducted into Firewall, and eventually I ended up in Extropia, ironically under a Jovian Proxy. I felt “hate” towards him at first, but I have started to let that one go – and it was not true hate anyway. When I defeated the Jovian Champion in the Amok Race, I believe that was sort of the last hurrah. I felt glad how the brute lost, but not in any great amount to be honest. The victory was hollow anyway, with a worthless ‘price’ designed to soothe the ginormous ego of Coolbot. I truly do not hate the Jovians anymore. Perhaps they can give me a reason one day, but for now, I just do not like them. The fire was out.
But then Ceres happened. And I remembered what hate is. The Hidden Concern stated they do not feel hate. I wonder, do they think they cannot feel fear as well? If they do… they are fools. I once watched a documentary about psychology, while most of it was boring, the parts about fear were… intriguing. Fear, according to professor Scruw Luus, is a natural defense mechanism. It is what helped creatures survive on Earth, the fear of the beasts in the wild. But, even predators felt fear – they felt the fear of fire if nothing else. I wonder, do octopi feel fear? The Hidden Concern seem to believe themselves to be the supreme predators of the fear. Fire is not an issue below the ocean’s surface. Could underwater predators not understand fear? If they do not understand fear, it is no wonder they feel so sure of themselves. I wonder how many would have to die until they learn to fear. A dozen dead mafia octopi, killed by an unseen attacker? A hundred? A thousand? I believe that even TITANs can feel fear. Because while they are incredibly vast, alien and terrifying, they are most likely aware of what fear actually is, not an enemy, but a way of defending yourself. Perhaps it was even fear that ran them away, although I do not see what could spook the TITANs. Deduction: It would scare the hell out of me probably. Still, the octopi probably do not fear, as fire has never taught them that, and the Hidden Concern’s octopi probably believe it a weak, useless emotion. Their mistake.
Let the Hidden Concern celebrate their victory and mock my ‘humanity’. Let them believe in their ‘superiority’. Let them plot. Let the Kraken trash about in the dark. Let them attempt to build an empire. Let them revel like in ancient Rome.
Log ends. W-28’s Muse starts to counsel the AGI due to noticing he might be going a little crazy at the moment